Fantasy Football 10 Commandments
September 2nd, 2011 kNuke
No matter you’re playing status it’s always good to remember the 10 Commandments.
10. You shall not let your wife, girlfriend, friend with benefits, or skank you met at the bar last night update your roster.
There is one exception of course. If she goes and pulls out the sex card then you have to let her replace Michael Vick with Alex Smith. I mean fantasy football isn’t that important is it?
9. You shall be a man.
If you really think Carson Palmer is coming out of retirement and is going to have a 40 touchdown season, draft him. I recommend listening and reading anything and everything you can get a hold on regarding the NFL and fantasy football, but at the end of the day, it’s your team. Don’t be afraid to do what your gut says. Like the coach Herm Edwards says, “You play to win the game!” Don’t be scurred.
8. You shall pay your money.
This should go without saying, but it happens more often than you think. To make it easy, all leagues should not allow teams to register/draft unless they have paid. I was in a league a few years ago where I never got paid my winnings. The next year they wanted my entrance fee and said all past winnings were not being paid. Awesome…
7. You shall name your team something totally awesome.
As I was writing this article ESPN helped me out and posted a Top 10 Fantasy Team names article. I wish I was as creative as these peeps.
6. You shall not be a donkey.
No lopsided trades, complaining about the rules after the draft, thinking you have default scoring, drafting more than one kicker and defense, taking the full amount of time for every single pick, declaring every pick a sleeper or great value, bringing the always so happy to be there other half to the draft, etc. This list could go on and on, but you get the point.
5. You shall not Auto-Draft.
The draft is exciting and fun. Drafts are planned ahead of time so there is no reason to miss it. If you can’t make the draft then it’s highly likely that you won’t pay attention through the duration of the season. Do your league a favor and just decline the invite.
4. Honor your league by competing till the end.
Nothing zaps the fun out of a league more than having a few owners pack it in early. I suggest having weekly prizes like highest score, most touchdowns, or even something wacky like team with a score over 50 points with the least amount of touchdowns. Kicking the bottom two teams out of the league as an incentive to keep owners engaged is an option, but remember to adhere to the “Girl dating code” before doing so. You know, a girl doesn’t leave the guy she’s with unless something better comes along. Same rule applies for the bottom two teams.
3. Every league shall have a championship belt.
The WWE, UFC, and Aaron Rodgers… What do they have in common? You guessed it, a Championship Belt! Your league should have one too. Fine, if you don’t want a belt your league should at least have a trophy. The only caveat is that your trophy needs a name. A great example is “The Shiva” from @theleaguefx.
2. You shall not talk about your fantasy team to anyone outside your league.
Nobody wants to hear about how your kicker booted a 52 yard field goal that helped your team win by 2 points or how the Texans defense somehow got you 10 points while giving up 35 real points. Simply put, people outside your league don’t care. This applies for for Facebook, Twitter, G+, or any other social media as well. I’m the exception of course, I’d love to hear about your team so keep sending those Tweets!
1. Remember to have fun.
Fantasy football is all about fun. If that means posting awesome videos on your message board, do it. If it means making fun of the guy who just drafted Ryan Williams in the 7th round, do it. If it means taping Owned signs cin the cubicle of the guy you just crushed, do it. It’s all about having a good time so go for it.
Posted in Fantasy Football | No Comments »
